Parenthood is the ultimate juggling act, and there is no single, right way to make a child feel valued. A child is likely to feel valued and loved if they are treated with respect, and when an adult demonstrates genuine interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Developing healthy boundaries and being consistent with children serves to nurture their sense of being valued. Here are some tips to make your child feeling valued and loved.
1. Spend uninterrupted time together
This basic step is a building block for teaching a child to feel you value him as an individual. Find ways to spend special time alone with your child. This will foster respect and closeness, and allow you to learn more about what your child wants and needs.
2. Love what they love
Sure, you're probably not as excited about the newest collection of Shopkins as they are, but loving what your kids love is a great way to show they're important to you. Listen with enthusiasm as they explain the inner workings of their Lego castle, and make yourself available to help foster their hobby.
3. Have regular conversations
Talking to a child about daily activities allows them to know that you care about their life. Having conversations with an adult may also give the child a positive sense of maturity. Include a variety of questions to help support your conversation.
4. Validate their feelings
Treat their emotions as important, even if you don't understand or agree. This lets the child know that you think their perspective is important and worth listening to. Make it clear that it's okay for them to feel the way they do.
5. Respect the child's abilities
Doing things for your child that they can do for themselves is suggesting that you doubt their capabilities. Instead, make them feel that you value what they can do for themselves. For example, rather than putting a nail coat on a 3-year old, allow her to take the time to do it for herself.
6. Ask caring questions
Go beyond the generic "How was school?" conversation and instead ask your kids pointed questions that show you're invested in what's going on in their lives. For example, ask them about their spelling test or what happened on their favorite TV show.
7. Allow the child to learn from their mistakes
Teaching independence means to allow for a higher possibility of mistakes. This is a natural consequence of learning a new skill. Because young children are concrete thinkers, learning the natural consequences that follow an action is an important part of their learning development.
8. Give your children choices
Allowing for your child to have genuine choices is an important part of letting them know you value their preferences and love him. The choices you provide should all be equally valid choices—that is, don't present choices that are impossible to meet, or which you're sure the child won't select. Instead, present a range of options whenever possible.